QUESTION: How do you deal with guests that respond with more guest RSVPs than you offered?
Kaella’s Answer: Traditionally, only the names listed on the envelopes are those invited to the wedding. However, it seems less people are aware of this rule these days. If you have a very tight guest list, as I’m sure you do, call the guest directly and explain your situation. This may be a delicate subject and you don’t want to risk a miscommunication, so don’t tell you guest over email or text. Finalizing the wedding guest list can be one of the most difficult parts of planning your wedding, and your guest will hopefully understand that you cannot invite every person. Just explain that you are not having kids at the wedding and hope they can see it as an opportunity to have a date night. Or tell your friend, that while you’d love to meet the person he or she is dating, you have a very restricted guest list and would love to set it up another time. One way to deter unintended plus 1’s is to list the names of those invited on the RSVP card with a space to indicate whether or not that guest is coming. This makes it very clear who is invited.
Need more wedding advice? Read Kaella’s previous posts:
- How do you (politely) stop your future in-laws from taking over your wedding planning?
- How do you tell a friend she won’t be a part of your bridal party?
- Is it okay to not allow children at your wedding?
- Should the bride and groom pay for the wedding party’s attire?
- What should I do if my MOH is slacking?
- What do you tell your family when you don’t want a wedding?
About our Kaella: Kaella Wilson is the founder of Kaella Lynn Events, a wedding planning and design boutique based in San Francisco. She believes the difference is in the details. Whether you’re planning a grand event or an intimate celebration, Kaella combines artistic design with meticulous planning and management to produce a memorable event that represents your style. Follow her on twitter @Kaellalynn.
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