Question: Is it okay to not allow children at your wedding?
KAELLA’S ANSWER: Yes. The guest list is tough and sometimes lines must be drawn. These lines will depend on the type of wedding you are having. From my experience many parents will actually welcome the excuse to have a grown-ups only night out.
RACHEL’S ANSWER: Absolutely! But do it knowing that this can be a controversial decision and it might keep some people from coming (especially if it’s an out-of-town wedding). That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it; it just means you need to be prepared to be polite but firm when someone calls you (or your mom) complaining about it. Personally, I feel like asking guests to leave their kids at home is doing them a favor. Yeah, they might complain about having to find a sitter, but they might actually enjoy putting on their dancing clothes, having a second glass of wine, and talking to other adults instead of playing mom and dad the whole night. Try to frame it as “Because you’re such good parents, we know you’ll give a lot of time and attention to your little ones and we want you to be able to be fully present/enjoy yourselves/catch up with all the people you haven’t seen in years!” Seriously, what parent wouldn’t jump at the excuse for a night off?!
If you have a lot of friends and relatives who are going to push back on this, you might look into arranging childcare at the hotel or nearby during the wedding/reception, just to ease things for them a bit. You don’t have to — they are grown-ups, they can hire baby-sitters — but if a lot of people are coming from out-of-town, throw them a bone.
About our Kaella & Rachel:
Kaella Wilson is the founder of Kaella Lynn Events, a wedding planning and design boutique based in San Francisco. She believe the difference is in the details. Whether you’re planning a grand event or an intimate celebration, Kaella combines artistic design with meticulous planning and management to produce a memorable event that represents your style.
Rachel Wilkerson is a writer and community manager living in sin in Houston, TX. She also happens to be planning her wedding! You can see more of her writing on her brand-new blog The House Always Wins. Follow her on twitter @RachelGettingIt
Need more wedding advice? Read Kaella and Rachel’s previous posts:
- How do you (politely) stop your future in-laws from taking over your wedding planning?
- How do you tell a friend she won’t be a part of your bridal party?
- What should I do if my Maid of Honor isn’t fulfilling her duties?
- Should the bride and groom pay for the wedding party’s attire?
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