I’m not sure exactly when the tipping point was, when boudoir wedding photos became popular. I felt like one day I woke up, and the lingerie-related wedding photos on Pinterest weren’t just Victoria Secret models anymore – they were regular, every day brides-to-be that were brave enough to strip down to their skivvies and shoot intimate, secret photos for their groom.
I’m definitely not a prude, and I certainly don’t discourage boudoir photos for any bride who wants them – to each their own! Hell, I admire the gutsy women who have opted to strip down for boudoir. I totally get how it might even feel totally awesome and empowering. The irony here is, however, is that these “secret” photos are obviously no longer discreet once they got published to the greater world wide web. So I feel like I have to say this out loud and have a conversation about it: the amount of bridal boudoir photos I’ve been seeing online recently kind of weirds me out.
Am I the only one that feels this way? Maybe I’m totally mistaken, and the boudoir photos splashed all over Pinterest are actually models who are helping photographers showcase their talent and abilities. But if the boudoir photos are really just normal brides giving their grooms a sexy glimpse before the wedding, then I feel like I’m intruding. And in a way, by seeing the boudoir photos, I feel like I’m somehow de-valuing the intimacy and secretive aspect of the photo – you know, the reason why you take it off to take the photos in the first place. (And don’t even get me started on couples boudoir. I don’t think I need to explain why that’s awkward…right?)
Maybe one day when I’m closer to marriage, I’ll consider whether or not I want to have boudoir photos taken for whoever I end up with. But sorry, internet; you’re not invited. In fact, no one’s invited…except for the intended viewer (and the photographer, of course). I won’t even show them off if the pictures turn out totally awesome and I’m proud of the way I look – because then, it’s not really meaningful. And wasn’t that the point, after all?
What do you think readers – am I being weird about this, and bridal boudoir is all fun and games? Have you had boudoir photos taken, or are planning on it? Would you share them with anyone other than your fiance?
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Oh I completely agree! (well accept for the empowerment bit, In this context especially, I don’t see how this gives anyone ‘power’). But I’m a bit confused here. If you feel like your intruding, as do I, why did you put these photos all over this post? I mean I get adding one, to catch the attention of those who post these, since they are kind of who you are directing them to. But then you also have a Pinterest for them. I’m just wondering if you do feel like your intruding by sharing them… why are you sharing them?
That’s a great question courtney! The thing is, even if I feel a little bit strange about them, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s very popular to share boudoir photos with wedding audiences – so that’s why we have a Pinterest board for it. And with blog posts, we’ve unfortunately found that posts without many photos gets passed over more by readers in the long run – I was hoping that by adding the photos, readers would be more inclined to read the article and have this discussion about bridal boudoir.
I did actually have a bit of an internal conflict on adding these photos – but I purposely chose images where you couldn’t see the person’s face, and that weren’t as revealing as other boudoir photography out there. I hope this helps answer your question!
I feel like they’re not that special for the couple once shared on the WWW either.
I’m sure it’s up to the couple; maybe that doesn’t play a role in whether or not the boudoir photos are still special to them! What I wrote above was just my own personal opinions and observations
Hi Stephanie.
Thanks for your post, this is a great conversation to have. I will be completely open with you in that I am a Boudoir photographer. The vast majority of my clients do leave the studio with lots more self confidence and I’m yet to hear of a recipient that wasn’t absolutely delighted with the resulting gift.
Regarding your point about them being on the Internet, I think it’s really important to note that for the vast majority of (if not all) photographers they are there with the express permission of the subject. All the images our my website are of models, I wouldn’t ever post images of clients without their permission. I guess sometimes clients might post their photographs on the Internet which is of course is up to them, but I would hate for any of your readers to get the impression that their photographs might end up online via their photographer without them knowing or without their permission because that just shouldn’t happen.
Personally, I agree with you, if I was having photographs taken as a gift for my other half, I’d want them to be for their eyes only.
Hey John,
Thanks for your thoughts! I’m so glad to hear from a photographer’s point of view. I never meant to give the impression that photographers would post boudoir photos of a client without their permission! I just wasn’t sure whether it was models or real brides being featured in most of the boudoir photos online now. Thanks for clarifying; I think it really helps add to the conversation
I completely agree. As a photographer, I’ve always felt weird about and I rarely share any boudoir pictures. For each boudoir session I shoot, I may choose one or two for my online portfolio, and i’ll choose the most artistic ones. I never blog boudoir session though, because i agree, the whole purpose of a boudoir session is that it’s for the groom’s eyes only.
Hi Kristina,
Thanks for your input! It’s great to hear your point of view on this topic, and how you share or display the boudoir shoots you do for clients. Do most of the people you photograph generally look over the photographs and give you permission before you post?
I’m a photographer that does about half of my business in boudoir portraiture. Though I’ve had brides come in, a lot of my clients are middle aged women who want an experience to help them reconnect with and celebrate their femininity and beauty. They just want to feel sexy again. In regards to sharing: I find that about half of my clients are very happy to have their boudoir photographs shared with the world. It’s a fascinating craft and exercise in human psychology.
Hey Paul, thanks for this really interesting tidbit! It’s very interesting to hear that boudoir photography isn’t just for brides, but it’s also for helping any woman “reconnect” with her femininity. That’s kind of what I meant when I mentioned how a boudoir photography session might feel fun and empowering for someone! I definitely think that the sharing of boudoir photography is up to the client involved; if they want to share it with the world, that’s certainly their prerogative, especially if they’re not taking the photos discreetly or for someone else.
I’ve had boudoir photos done on several occasions (I’ve yet to do bridal boudoir). I had them taken for me (although my fiance doesn’t mind them either, lol). Being that I’ve had them done for me, I have no problems sharing them with those who want to see them. It’s kind of a “Hey World! Look at me! I’m proud of who I am!” idea.
I was thinking about getting them done, because it is my husband and I’s one year anniversary. However I don’t know what people do with them, because it would be weird having them hang in the house. And you don’t want your kids seeing your half naked pics either? Anybody who has done it before let me know what u think or any boudoir photographs. Also do you have to get a big package?