Once you are engaged your head will start racing about who to pick for your bridal party. There will be people that you want to ask right away, and others that you are unsure about. There will be some people that expect to be asked, even if you aren’t close with them anymore. It is definitely hard to decide how you should choose your bridesmaids. All of the expectations about who you should ask and who you want to ask may start to overwhelm you. We have 8 pieces of advice for you that we hope will help you decide who your perfect bridesmaids for you will be!
So read on, and then once you know who you want to ask use one of our 5 favorite ways to propose to your bridesmaids!
1. TAKE YOUR TIME:
Take plenty of time to think and talk to your fiancé before immediately asking your favorite people to stand up with you at the altar. It is really exciting when you first get engaged, and you may want to share that with your favorite ladies (or men), but it’s important to think about the details before you ask someone (that you may later regret). Think about, how big your wedding is and if you want to have a matching number of groomsmen and bridesmaids.
2. DON’T FEEL OBLIGATED:
Definitely don’t feel obligated to ask anyone. Just because you were in someone else’s wedding 4 years ago (and have subsequently lost touch) doesn’t mean you owe them anything. Sure there are always going to be political reasons to have someone in your wedding, but only do it if you know you will be happy seeing that person in your wedding photos for years to come.
3. FORGET ABOUT THE RULES:
If your best friend is a guy, or you are incredibly close with your brother, go ahead and ask him to be your Man Of Honor! Who cares that tradition says your bridal party should be all female?! What is most important is having the people who are most important to you standing at the altar with you. That also goes for match bridesmaids with groomsmen, if you have a mismatched number that’s okay! It’s better to have a mismatched number of bridesmaids to groomsmen, then to have someone you don’t care about standing at the altar with you (just so you can match).
4. ASK YOURSELF, HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN FRIENDS?:
It is probably best to ask your closest friends that you have known the longest first. Asking the friends that you know are caring and loyal will prove useful when things get really stressful as the wedding day approaches. Be cautious when asking newer friends. That new friend you have known for 4 weeks might be super close to you right now, but you don’t know how they are under pressure, or how loyal they really are.
5. INCLUDE YOUR FAMILY:
For most people this is probably a no-brainer. Though there may be some people who don’t get along with their siblings (or soon to be sibling in-laws), but including them in your big day will definitely help avoid unpleasantness. At the end of the day they are your family, and nothing is going to change that!
6. DOES THIS PERSON SUPPORT YOUR MARRIAGE?:
This one also seems rather obvious, but if you have a close friend who doesn’t support your union with your partner then they might not be the right fit for your wedding. The people standing at the altar with you are essentially saying that they approve of this union. If you feel like your friend doesn’t approve then he/she shouldn’t be standing at the altar with you pretending that they do.
7. DON’T BE UPSET IF SOMEONE DECLINES:
Being a bridesmaid is a big time commitment as well as a large financial one. Not everyone is up to the task. If you have a friend who you know is stretched thin financially don’t be upset if she declines your invitation to be a bridesmaid! Remember that it doesn’t mean they don’t treasure you as a friend, but really they are saving you from the stress of having a bridesmaid who doesn’t actually want to be one!
8. DO WHAT MAKES THE MOST SENSE FOR YOU:
At the end of the day it is your wedding, and you should do what you feel the happiest about. Only ask people you know you will want up at the altar with you. Don’t worry about politics or rules or anything else, just pick the people who mean the most to you. If you go with your heart you are certain not to regret it!
Now here comes the fun part! Finding the best (and most fun way) to propose to your bridesmaids. Here are a few of our most favorite ways to ‘pop the question’ to your bridesmaids:
3. With a bottle of bubbly!
4. With an adorable coffee cup.
5. With an adorable handmade handkerchief in case she gets weepy eyed at your ceremony!
So what do you think brides to be? Do you know who your are going to ask and how you will ask them? Let us know what inspired you in the comments!
Lauren Sinton is a recent graduate from UC Davis with a degree in English and an emphasis in Creative Writing. She is a prolific poet and loves absolutely everything about writing and reading poetry. She has also been planning her own wedding since she was in the 2nd grade, which is now finally coming in handy since she is recently engaged.