This is a guest post by our friend and couples coach Kira Asatryan!
We all know planning a wedding is a stressful time. There are very few other occasions in life that involve as many tension-filled topics. From finances to family relationships to religious & cultural differences… it’s only natural to get stressed out during the planning process. Below are some tips to keep the wedding stress from spilling (or boiling!) over onto your fiancé.
1. Determine what matters & what doesn’t
This is something to be done early, and done often. I’d recommend before you do any wedding planning at all, talk to your fiancé about which aspects of the traditional wedding really excite you & which seem more like a burden.
In my opinion, a very large part of what causes wedding stress in the first place is the belief that this is your only chance to do everything, so you should do everything. But if you genuinely couldn’t care less about getting your bridesmaids special robes to wear while you’re taking your getting-ready photos, don’t bother. If you don’t want the hassle of personally engraving your wedding favors, scratch that right off the list.
The beauty of determining what matters & doesn’t to the two of your is that it frees up mental & emotional space to get excited about the parts of the wedding you’re naturally excited about. If you both love fashion, focus on making your outfits amazing. If you both love music, make that the center of the day. Establishing “wedding priorities” early in the process is the #1 way to reduce conflict with your fiancé down the road.
You’ve found your future spouse. You’ve made the verbal commitment and now you’re planning the commitment ceremony, whatever that may look like. But guess what? You’re about to make a series of smaller commitments to your wedding A-team, your wedding vendors. You put significant thought, time, and effort into finding the right partner. As it turns out, you’ll end up putting a significant amount of thought, time, and effort into finding the right partners for your wedding festivities. No matter the type of wedding you’re planning, here are a few tips for finding wedding vendors.
1. Date your favorites
Yes, figuratively (not literally!) date your favorite potential vendors. You’ve heard (or read) a lot about them. Maybe your friends have raved about them or you’ve chatted by phone or started an email thread. I would strongly encourage you to meet them in person before signing on the dotted line. It helps you get a complete picture, as a professional and as a person. Grab coffee, meet them for a few minutes in their office, or Skype them if you’re out of area. We have met all of our vendors, two exceptions, in person.
The best wedding vendors will pay attention and work hard to figure out what your level of interest and knowledge regarding their particular services. What I loved most about my consultation with our florist from A Village of Flowers is that she worked to develop an understanding of my knowledge of flowers and floral design and worked meticulously to review my vision, piece by piece. I have a basic knowledge of blooms and a limited knowledge of information about stem strength, availability, and cost. She didn’t waste my time explaining the difference between a rose and a peony but she added to my knowledge base when I was unfamiliar with a bloom.
If you’ve ever been part of a wedding, you’ve probably had a tiny feeling of dread when you shoved this one event to the back of your mind — the bridal shower.
Why does the bridal shower invoke such mixed feelings?
Well, I mean, think about it. In the history of pop culture, bachelorette parties are the events that evoke hot male strippers and hangovers that you’ll talk about for days whereas bridal showers are painted all prim and proper. It doesn’t take long for prim and proper to get old. Plus, no one really actually knows what’s supposed to go on during a bridal shower except for the fact that it’s clean and there are gifts to be opened.
In this guide, I will be really cracking open the books to give you a comprehensive overview of how to get started on planning a, quite frankly, b*tchin’ bridal shower. Now let’s get started!
As elaborate as parties can get, these are the three ingredients to practically guarantee a good time for guests:
People, myself included, very rarely have exacting standards for what makes a good party. This isn’t an insult to whoever planned the event, it just happens that people have very short attention spans. It won’t really matter if your napkins turn out to be a cranberry pink instead of a rose pink, because people are just going to be focusing on what’s going to be impacting their senses most heavily — the people, edibles, and general atmosphere surrounding them. I can practically guarantee you that as long as those three prerequisites are fulfilled, you will not have a mediocre bridal shower. In fact, if everyone and the bride are enjoying themselves, you can consider your bridal shower a success.
You certainly can go all out Bridesmaids style (and give me a golden retriever puppy as a shower favor), but my point is to not stress out too much over getting every detail right. The bridal shower is meant to be intimate, so pay close attention to what sort of bride you’re planning it for. Maybe she’s extremely high-maintenance and wants her bridal shower to get featured on Style Me Pretty — fine. But most likely, she’ll just be happy to see that her closest relatives and friends are there to celebrate her and support her.
Ah, Portland. There’s so much I love about that mystical city tucked away in the forests of the Pacific Northwest — the artisan bakeries, strong coffee, and hip little outposts on every corner. It only makes sense that a wedding in Portland would have it’s own relaxed but unique personality, right?
Kate and Akeem had a simple celebration with friends and family that started at the St. Mary’s Cathedral of Immaculate Conception, and ended at a quirky picnic-inspired restaurant in downtown Portland called Picnic House. Along the way there were many laughs, fun wedding details (love that chalkboard guest book!) and a crazy dance party. Kate looked stunning in a simple, elegant white cocktail dress, and she and Akeem are just too adorable together. You’ll see it for yourself in these gorgeous photos by Christy Cassano-Meyer! Ready to see more of this fun Portland restaurant wedding?